Your Own Back Yard – Michael Gillan Maxwell

THE LUNCH LADY COOKBOOK ~ SUMMER EDITION

THE LUNCH LADY INCREDIBLE, EDIBLE EGG SALAD SANDWICH

Hey there boys and girls! This is The Lunch Laddy, Michael Gillan Maxwell, comin’ at ya with another chapter of the Lunch Lady Cookbook. Hard to believe that school’s out for summer already. Kids are jumping off of piers pinching their noses shut, falling out of trees and breaking their wrists, running through sprinklers, skinny dippin’ in the swimming hole, pulling ginormus catfish out of the fishin’ hole, weaving lanyards at summer camp and riding their bikes down shady sidewalks with baseball cards clothes-pinned to their bicycle spokes. I know how summer works.  But people still gotta eat and the Lunch Lady Cookbook does not take summer vacations. So get with the program peeples!

Today we tackle one of the most time honored of comfort foods ~ the venerable ~ the one and only ~ Egg Salad Sandwich. How could I be so prosaic, you ask. Well let me tell you this straight up. The Lunch Lady Cookbook don’t know from prosaic. It’s all good. And so, without further adieu, I present:

THE LUNCH LADY INCREDIBLE, EDIBLE EGG SALAD SANDWICH

Ingredients:

Egg Salad:

1.  2 Hard Boiled Eggs (Cage Free, organic, jumbo brownies)
2. Half cup of finely minced sweet Vidalia onion
3. 4 Bread and Butter Pickle Chips ~ chopped and diced
4. Salt
5. Red Pepper Flakes
6. Garlic Powder
7. Dried Basil Leaves
8. Tablespoon Mayonnaise

Slice, dice, mix and stir. Bend, spindle and mutilate.

Top with basil flakes and red pepper flakes and serve

Sandwich:

1. 2 pieces sourdough bread, lightly toasted and buttered
2. Cut into 4 pieces, evenly distribute egg salad
3. Top with thinly sliced tomato

and there you have it.

By the way, if any of you namby, pamby Momma’s boys need the crusts cut off, then this ain’t  the place for you.

Since this involves eggs and mayonnaise, The Lunch Laddy suggests two prophylactic doses of Lipitor before consuming.

Beverage Pairing:

Ice cold Canandaigua Lake Ale.

(I know, it’s only noon, but the sun is over the yardarm somewhere, dammit!)

Music Pairing:

Of course ~ the Alice Cooper classic ~ “School’s Out For Summer”

(It’s summer bitches!  And for me ~ school’s out forever.)

Hey, as much as we all love Alice ~

no biting off the heads of live chickens or snakes in the Lunch Lady Cafeteria!

 I mean it!

Bon appetit’ !