I think bullying was INVENTED at the Catholic school I attended. Let’s just call it “Our Lady of Eternal Guilt and Suffering”. The priests bullied the nuns, who bullied the kids, who bullied each other. Monsignor Barry bullied everyone. God forbid, you should draw the short straw and get THAT guy for confession. “Bless me Father for I have sinned. It has been one week since my last confession. I argued with my brother twice and, uh… I thought impure thoughts once.” Actually, I thought impure thoughts CONSTANTLY – 24/7/365 days a year – mainly about Mary Olson – and I don’t think there was a 13-year-old boy in my school who didn’t. “Impure thoughts??? I KNEW it. You’ll grow hair on your palms, go blind and burn for eternity in Hell for this! For your penance, my son, you must prostrate yourself at the foot of the altar, say 100 Our Fathers, 50 Hail Marys, 1000 Rosaries, and have yourself flogged on the way out the door.” Our Lady of Eternal Guilt and Suffering felt about as close as you could get to reform school without actually being shipped out to juvie or military academy. Desperate parents sent their problem children there to straighten up. Consequentially, there was a motley assortment of every badass greaser and hood for miles around; and they bullied everything that moved. I had so many alternate routes home through backyards and over fences that it was like escape to freedom through the Underground Railroad. Of course, sometimes, the only response to a bully was a bigger bully. Enter Mr. Gundersen, the 8th grade lay teacher at Our Lady of Eternal Guilt and Suffering. He was hulking man of Swedish descent and the butt of more than a few unkind “big, dumb Swede” remarks. A middle-aged bachelor who still lived with his mother, his daily uniform was an ill-fitting navy blue suit, white shirt, tie, what must have been size 15 shoes and a perennial 5 o’clock shadow. Mr. Gundersen coached football, basketball and track. Acting as ad hoc Dean of Students whose mission it was to scare the absolute bejesus out of everyone, he was more like a hit man who could be called in at a moment’s notice to administer a hallway tune-up against the lockers to any of the 8th grade boys who were singled out as being disruptive or defiant. However, he was the only teacher who was physically intimidating enough to act as judge, jury and executioner, as well as Defender of the Faith and Protector of the Meek and Mild, and the rest of our sorry lot against the greasers and hoods. Even then, his tactics were dubious, but in THIS day and age, he’d be doing a stretch of hard time for child abuse. However, in the fashion of all petty tyrants, he did manage to maintain some kind of despotic law and order.
Your Own Back Yard - Michael Gillan Maxwell 
November 19, 2011 at 7:59 am
I was a skinny kid in junior high and high school and attracted my fair share of bullies. I learned to stay quiet and avoid the as much as I could. I had been called out to fight people, very likely because they knew I wouldn’t have a chance. Ah, the good ole days. That was my experience in the catholic junior high I went to. The principal dealt with these things by giving the kids boxing gloves and having them box it out after school. Imagine THAT today. Fortunately, I never experienced the “ring”. But one day, things changed. One of the bullies found out I was on the football team. The bad news bears of football. Of course he did not know that, he just heard “football player”. From then on, life was different. It’s as though I needed to demonstrate that I was testosterone laden and could flip out of control at a moments notice and pummel someone to the point of total humiliation. Funny to even consider. But, I see the truth in this as well. In order to fluidly survive these years as a teen, kids who are going through some of the most major life changes they may ever experience, being the most unsure of themselves, are being pushed to be confident beyond preparedness.
My son experienced some serious bullying in his 6th grade year. It was by girls. I could not believe it. “girls?” I said. Of course, this was even more humiliating that I asked this question. Friends of his saw the torment and did not want to be next, then taking the “duck and cover” approach, leaving their comrade out for target practice. He became isolated. Poor kid. It was a tough year. Seems like we can help somehow, but how? With all of the technology we have, one would think we would have a bully detector. There could be flashing lights, alarms, urgent text messages sent to every phone and of course FB notices. But, the issue is not who the bully is, kids know that already. It is what to do with them.
November 19, 2011 at 1:00 pm
Wow! David – thanks so much for reading and taking the time and energy on such a detailed and heartfelt reflective response. I am most grateful and appreciative. The girls that age can absolutely be some of the toughest characters around. I remember all to well being beaten up by the biggest girl in school when I was in 3rd grade. She took me out while I was “on duty” as a “safety patrol” monitor. needless to say it didn’t do much for my street cred at the time! Relative to your earlier remarks, sometimes it IS useful for some people to think you’re a little bit crazy and could flip out at any moment. I wouldn’t want everyone to view me that way, but it has been a useful way for me to keep certain types of individuals at arms length. Thanks again for participating and interacting!
November 19, 2011 at 10:45 am
Wow!! This is really funny and so real……I loved reading this and reminded me so much of my friends at the parochial schools.
November 19, 2011 at 12:53 pm
Haha! Hey Duane! Thank you SO much for reading and commenting! Great to hear from you! What’s a nice guy like you doing in a place like this? 😉