The Lunch Lady Cookbook

Rock Stream Slam Sausages

Hey everyone! How ya’ doin’? This is The Lunch Laddy, Michael Maxwell, coming to you with another recipe for The Lunch Lady Cookbook. Since we’re in the middle of what Mother Jones Magazine calls “a mutant heatwave shattering all records” and that ain’t funny for all kinds of reasons, I thought I’d at least honor this premature blast of solar radiation with some traditional warm weather fare. The Lunch Lady Cookbook is proud to present to you: “Rock Stream Slam Sausages.” You’ll need the following ingredients:

1 pound fresh Italian Sausages (preferably HOT)

1 Sweet Vidalia Onion

1 Red Pepper

Fresh Sesame Rolls

1 Six Pack Pork Slap Pale Ale (TM Pork Slap Pale Ale)

Dinosaur Bar-B-Que Wango Tango Habenero Hot Barb-B-Que Sauce (TM Dinosaur Barb-B-Q)

The staff at The Lunch Lady Cookbook is always on my case and all up in my grill to put a new spin on things, so I’m delivering this recipe in the form of a slam poem. The recipe (poem) should be read with a funky, up tempo bass and drum track. As always, this should be played by live musicians, if at all possible. However, if this is not practical, then may I suggest sampling James Brown’s Funky Drummer where he instructed drummer Clyde Stubblefield as follows: “You don’t have to do no soloing, brother, just keep what you got… Don’t turn it loose, ’cause it’s a mother.” Remember the immortal words of Mr. James Brown: “A man got his hair and teeth, he got it all!”

Cue the music and hit it!

Rock Stream Slam Sausages

“This is how we do it,” he said,

pouring olive oil in a pan and turning the burner up high

“Heat that oil up, and crank the music loud

but don’t let ‘er get too hot or she’ll smoke!

At least, that’s what SHE said

Meanwhile, slice some peppers up,

if you got ‘em. sweet onions, if you want ‘em,

then put ‘em in the pan when it’s good and hot,

Once they start fryin’, lay them sausages right down in there

Take care to turn ‘em, cuz you don’t wanna burn ‘em

Get some rosemary, basil and chives from the garden,

cut ‘em up and pile ‘em in, then put a lid on it

When the onions start to go brown and clear,

they’re carmelizin’, so you crack a beer,

whatever kind ya got, before she gets too hot,

pour a little in the pan, then drink the rest

Lower the heat and cover it quick. Let it all stew for a little bit,

‘till them sausages turn plump and pink

Take ‘em off the stove and set ‘em aside.

You can let ’em sit like that, while you go outside

take the dogs for a walk, see a man ‘bout a dog … whatever

Fire up the grill and get it smokin’ hot,

then you drop them sausages right on in there,

cover ‘em up and turn the flame down low, if you’re cookin’ with gas,

otherwise you gotta let it go, ‘til ya get them coals to glow

Be sure to cook ‘em slow

That’s when you start paintin’ on the barbeque sauce

Don’t be shy about it, slather it on nice and thick

Keep ‘em turnin’, cuz you don’t wanna burn ‘em

Down another cold one, take it easy and take your time,

maybe even have another one, cuz when that’s done,

they’re done, then you take ‘em off the grill

Before ya put it to the test, ya gotta let it rest

That’s the secret to grillin’ good meat

That meat been workin’ hard, my brother,

ya gotta let it rest.”

Slather with Wango Tango Sauce while they’re on the grill.

Wango Tango Sauce

Serve on sliced rolls that have been grilled until gently toasted.

Increase the heat with hot horseradish mustard.

Beer Pairing: Porkslap Pale Ale

Music Pairing: “Gimme Back My Wig” Hound Dog Taylor

“Muddy Waters”  The Chess Box

Porkslap Pale Ale