If Napoleon were alive today
I imagine him wearing a large bicorne hat
standing in that iconic hand-in-waistcoat gesture
reaching for his I Pod Touch to dial in the 1812 Overture
from his “Classic Works of Russian Composers” play list.
I can see Sigmund
in his cozy mahogany paneled study,
his face illuminated by the soft light of his MacBook Pro,
as he Googles the meaning
of the idiom: “Yo Mama!”
Imagine how much confusion
might have been avoided
if Christopher Columbus
had been able to MapQuest
his route to the East Indies.
It’s not too hard to envision
a little fire at the Circus Maximus
getting out of hand and turning into a cataclysmic conflagration
while Nero was preoccupied
updating his Facebook status.
I can’t help but wonder
how the tides of history
might have turned
if Genghis Khan’s relentless advance across the steppes
had been broadcast on his Twitterfeed.
It’s easy to understand
how the Pony Express
would have gone right out of business
if homesteading rights had included
unlimited text messaging.
It doesn’t take a genius to speculate
how the Declaration of Independence
might have been written using GoogleDocs.
But I’d really like to know, what would Ernest do
with a Fishfinder in Old Man and the Sea?